Lately

Lately, well always, I've tried to do things on my own. Always independent, so my mom says. Always "fine" if anyone asks. Never asking for help. Lately, though, I've come to the realization that this is not the way things should be. I have friends, family, a boyfriend, people who love me and want to help....with anything. Always reaching out. Always asking. Always there. I have God. Always so calming in this world of storms. I know it's ok to ask for help. That's what we're supposed to do, right? So why is it so hard? Hard to break away from the cycle of independence. I guess it's because I'm human and I'm scared to give my worries, insecurities, doubts and thoughts over to other people and to God, even though He already knows. Well, I guess that's what I'm doing now. In a very public, open-to-the-world fashion. I'm starting to ask for help. Help with life. Help with problems. Help with time. I'm tearing down this wall of "fine." Deep down, I'm a worrier. I don't tell my worries a lot, but they're there. So next time you ask, "how's it going?" I may spill to you my worries and thoughts, but I'm trying here. So just let me try.